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  She bites me harder, causing me to squeeze her left ass cheek before slapping it. She cries out with pleasure as I slap it one more time before gripping her ass with both hands and spreading her cheeks. “It’s so damn beautiful,” I whisper, while running a finger up her slick folds. “Hold on, baby. I’m about to take you for a ride.”

  Gripping my cock, I align it with her opening, rubbing the head of it over her slickness, teasing her with my piercings before shoving it deep inside with a moan. Holding onto her hips, I pound into her hard and fast, causing her to grab onto the hood and scream. The faster I go, the more she begs for me to go harder.

  Grinding my hips, I yank her hair back with one hand, pushing hard and deep. I want her to still be able to feel me inside her after we’re through. I want her to know she’s mine and mine alone. I may have shared her once, but that’ll never happen again.

  She sticks her ass up higher, gripping onto my hand as I thrust into her. I’m already as deep as I can go and she still wants me deeper. We never could get enough of each other, even when it hurt her.

  A few thrusts later, I feel her clenching around my cock, so I give her one hard thrust before yanking her neck to the side and pressing my lips against hers, right as she moans out. I wait for her to stop shaking before I pull out and spin her around to face me.

  I crush my lips back against hers, both of us breathing heavy, as I pick her up and walk until we’re pressed against the wall in our favorite corner. It was where we went to fuck when Mitch’s ass wouldn’t leave for the night. Even though he could still hear us, it kept us hidden pretty well in the shadows. The risk of getting caught made it more of a rush.

  Pulling away from her lips, I wrap my hand around her throat and push myself inside her, causing her to shake in my arms. “Remember this spot, baby?” I pull her bottom lip into my mouth and bite into as I start thrusting hard and fast, pushing her up the wall with each movement.

  I reach down and grab her hands, binding them in one hand, and raising them above her head. Both of us are breathing heavy, me holding her hands above her head while holding her up with my opposite arm supporting her waist.

  “Hemy!” She pulls back on my hair as I push into her one last time, feeling my orgasm build before I release myself deep inside her.

  We stand here, me holding her and her holding onto me as we fight to catch our breath. Lowering her back to her feet, I tangle my fingers in her hair and press my forehead against hers. “I fucking love you,” I breathe out. “I love you so much that it hurts.”

  Sucking in a breath of shock, she places both her hands on my chest and shoves me away. “Damn you, Hemy!” Rushing over to her clothes, she struggles to get dressed while muttering under her breath and holding back tears.

  I don’t blame her for her reaction. I hurt her beyond words, and me dropping the L word like this was probably the last thing she expected . . . but I don’t give a shit. I love her and she needs to know, no matter how much she hates me. I missed my chance the first time. It won’t happen again. I’ll never lose her again because I couldn’t tell her how I felt.

  I feel my heart shattering in my chest as she throws on her boots and reaches for her bag. As much as I know she needs to go, I don’t want her to. She heads for the door, but then stops to turn around and throw something. Whatever it was hits the wall before she buries her face in her hands and shakes her head.

  “Do you even know what pain feels like, Hemy?” Her jaw clenches as I stare at her. “Well, do you? Do you even feel pain?”

  “Oh, I feel it alright. That burning sensation deep down inside that feels as if my heart is dying, being crushed.” I look up from the ground and right into her eyes. “I felt it the minute you walked out my damn door.”

  She stands there, unable to say anything, before turning around and walking out the door, slamming it closed behind her. I have no one to blame but myself. I did this to her . . . to us.

  It just means I need to work harder to show her the new me.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hemy

  It’s been four days since I’ve seen Onyx and it’s taking everything in me not to go to Vixens’ and claim her as mine. As much as it hurts, she needs time. Me forcing her to admit her feelings isn’t going to do shit but make it worse on my part. I can’t have that.

  Taking a drag of my cigarette, I tilt my head back up to look at Slade. He’s puffing on his own cigarette while texting Aspen. “You love her, man?”

  Slade gives me a hard look before shoving his phone in his pocket and taking one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it. “With everything in me,” he says with confidence. “There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for that woman.”

  I can’t believe I’m even doing this right now. Going to Slade for advice was the last thing I thought I’d ever do. “What would you do if you hurt her so bad in the past that she was afraid to open up and let you back in? What if you told her you loved her for the first time and she walked away?”

  Taking a step closer to me, he grips my shoulder and smirks. “My guy’s in love. This must be one badass chick.” He shoves my shoulder before placing me in a headlock and rubbing the top of my head. “You’ve been holding out on me, my man.”

  I take one last drag of my cigarette as he releases my neck. “Yeah, she’s badass. She’s my first and only love, man. I fucked up bad and I’m paying for it now.” I toss my cigarette and take a deep breath before quickly releasing it. “I’m trying to be patient, man. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard shit.” I steel my jaw while leaning into the building and digging my fingers into it. “How much time should I give her?”

  Without hesitation, he answers, “You know me, man. When I want something I go after it, sometimes a little too hard. If it’s love, then you need to let her know that you’re not going anywhere. Let her know you want her without pushing her away. You get me?”

  I nod my head, getting what he means. I can still let her know I’m not going anywhere without being too pushy. My shift is almost over for the night, so as soon as I’m out, I’m going straight to Vixens’.

  “Hemy.”

  We both look over at the sound of Sarah’s voice. “The group dance is up next. You better hurry and get your fine ass in there.” She smiles at Slade before shoving his shoulder. “Your woman is at the bar waiting on you. You better hurry before someone else snags her sexy ass up.”

  Oh boy. She just had to go there.

  Without hesitation, Slade stalks off, rushing inside to his woman. He knows damn well he has nothing to worry about with Aspen, but he’s still so damn protective. He reminds me a lot of myself. When we find that special woman, we’ll do anything for her. I just wish I wasn’t too late.

  “Thanks, Sarah.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Just hurry your ass up,” she teases.

  If there’s anything that I hate, it’s doing a stupid dance routine on stage. It involves costumes and all of us men putting a dance together. It makes us all feel like fucking idiots. That’s why we only set up a dance routine once a month. It’s the one thing that some of the women travel to see. It’s the biggest night of every month, packed to maximum capacity.

  Adjusting my tie, I laugh at Stone as he jumps up on a table and thrusts his hips while gripping onto his hat and tilting it down, over his face. “Man, I’m such a stud in a suit.”

  “Is that right, asshole?” Cale asks.

  “Um . . . fuck yeah,” Stone replies while jumping down from the table. “Don’t get mad when I get all the tips. I have this routine down pat, bros.”

  “Alright, stud.” I slap the back of his head before reaching for my black hat and putting it on, tilting it a bit to the side. “This is the biggest crowd you’ll see for a while, so you better show them Slade’s not around anymore. A lot of them come just for that motherfucker.”

  “I’m the new Slade,” he says with a smirk. “These women will leave screaming Stone. You feel me?” He gives both Cale and I the middle f
inger before jogging up the steps to the back of the stage.

  This kid really has no idea what he’s getting into right now. Some of these women still even scare my ass with all that shrieking.

  The stage is dark when we line up next to our chairs. I can hear the screaming of hundreds of women as soon as the music starts playing. This used to get me hard at one point. Undressing for all these horny women. Now, I don’t feel shit. I just want to get this over with.

  Out of instinct, my body instantly reacts to the music when the lights flicker on, lighting up the stage. Placing one foot on the chair, I grab the top of my head and grind my hips to the music, the other two doing the same.

  I thrust my hips slow and seductively as if I were fucking someone with deep passion. This causes the girls close by to lean over the stage and start waving a handful of cash while others toss some onto the stage.

  I reach up with one hand and loosen my tie, swinging one leg over the chair to straddle it, rocking my hips a few times just before grabbing the chair and lifting it up to place at the end of the stage.

  I look out into the crowd and motion with my finger for the closest girl to come up on stage. With little effort, I grab onto her arm and pull her up next to me.

  Swaying my hips to the slow rhythm, I pull the knot of my tie until it transforms back into a straight piece of fabric. Grabbing each end, I slide it around her waist and pull her body up against mine, transferring the ends of the tie in one hand. I lean into her neck and grip my hat with one hand while grinding against her, causing her to scream out with excitement.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cale and Stone doing the exact same thing. For as little as we actually practice, we’re completely in sync with each other. I have to admit we don’t look half bad for not putting much effort into the routine.

  Walking her backwards, I guide her down into the chair before dropping my tie and ripping the buttons off of my black button down. I grab the girl’s hand and place it on my chest while standing above her lap and dancing against her.

  The girl’s hand goes to reach for my dick, but I grab it, stopping her before she can get there. The thought of another woman touching me there right now is not sitting well with me. It actually pisses me off.

  Pushing back my anger, I tilt her chair back until I’m standing over her face, grinding my hips above her while holding the top of the chair up with one hand. My dick is directly in front of her face and all I can think about is Onyx doing something similar with some random dude in her club.

  Jealousy courses through me, but I do my best to keep it in check and make it through the dance. The routine is almost over. Only one more thing left to do.

  Pulling the chair back up on all fours, I run my hands down my bare chest before undoing my pants and placing the girl’s hands on my waistline, allowing her to undress me. She pushes them down my legs without hesitation, leaving me standing here in my short boxer briefs, the women all screaming at us practically naked.

  Picking her up and placing her to lie on her back on the stage, I slide across the floor, on my knees, while thrusting my hips until I’m above her face again. I place both hands on the ground in front of me and thrust in a fast motion, brushing against her in the face with my package.

  She reaches up and grabs my ass until I’m done and moving down her body, pretending to lick her body on the way down. Once I reach the bottom, I help her to her feet and smile as she shoves a handful of cash in the front of my briefs.

  We do a few more short dances, filling the time, until finally the night is almost over and we’re heading back stage to get dressed.

  I take a seat and look around, swallowing the realization that none of these girls even come close to comparing to Onyx. This place isn’t good enough anymore. Onyx is sexy, strong, passionate, and doesn’t take shit from anyone. She has always been that way . . . except when it came to me.

  I reach over to the table next to me and grab for my beer. I hold it against my lips for a few seconds before pulling it away and setting it down, pissed off at my damn self for thinking. “Fuck me.”

  “Hello, sexy,” a soft voice says from beside me.

  Without looking over, I nod my head and reach for my beer again. I really don’t feel like being messed with at the moment. “I’m done working for the night,” I say stiffly.

  “Even better.” I feel the couch dip next to me, so I look over to see a sexy brunette. It’s the same one that licked the whipped cream off my body that night I left to go find Onyx. She smiles victoriously as if she’s been waiting for the exact moment to get me alone. “It looks like you could use some company.”

  She reaches over and slides her hand up my leg, gripping my thigh just below my dick. I look down at her slender hand and grab it right before she reaches for my package. “I don’t want company.” I set her hand on her own lap and stand up while taking a sip of my beer. “I’m good being alone.”

  Leaning forward, she pokes out her chest while running a finger over her half empty glass. Her lips curl up into a smile as she takes a sip and scoots closer to the edge. “I think you just need to release some tension.” She licks her lips. “I’m sure I could help you with that.”

  “I said I’m good.” I go to turn around and stop as I almost bump into someone. Not just anyone . . . Onyx.

  Her nostrils flare as she stares me in the eyes, not saying a word. I can’t even move. I’m frozen in place from her stare, so I just stare back, waiting for her to speak.

  “Here’s your chance, Hemy.” She looks between me and the brunette. “Here’s your chance to speak. That is, if you’re not too busy.”

  “Hey!” The brunette sets her drink down on the table next to her and sits straight up as if ready for a fight. “Can’t you see he’s busy, bitch?”

  Onyx runs her tongue over her top teeth before placing the heel of her boot into the girl’s chest and shoving her backwards, then leaning down toward her face. “I’d watch who you call a bitch. Got it, sweetheart.” She pulls her foot away and leans into her ear. “Keep your dirty little mouth away from my man or you’ll be eating my heel for a late night snack.”

  “Fuck me. That’s hot.” I set my beer down and watch as Onyx turns around to face me. “Your man, huh?”

  “Shit!” She walks away from me while mumbling some shit under her breath.

  I quickly catch up to her and grab her by the waist to stop her. “Where are you going?” I spin her around and brush a curl out of her face. “Come to my house with me.”

  “No.” She places her hands on my chest and pushes me away as I pull her into me. “Dammit, Hemy. See what you do to me?” She lets out a breath of frustration and turns away for a second. “I didn’t mean to call you that. It just sort of came out.”

  “It sounded damn good coming out too,” I admit. “Come to my house so we can talk. I’m not taking no for an answer anymore.”

  “No, Hemy. We can talk here. We never talk in private and you know it.”

  I pull my eyes away from hers and look around to see that a lot of people have stopped to stare at us, including Sarah and one of our other bartenders, Amanda. I flex my jaw at them and they both turn away to resume minding their own business.

  “Let’s go,” I say firmly. “We’re going to my house.”

  “Onyx! What are you doing here?”

  I look beside us to see a pretty girl with dark curls standing next to Stone. The look that crosses Onyx’s face as she takes her in surprises me. She looks sick, as if she’s about to pass out.

  “Um . . . Ash. What are you doing here? I thought you were still at work?”

  Ash looks between me and Onyx and forces a small smile. “Is this your friend?” She looks me over as if she’s trying to figure something out. “The one you said I might meet someday?”

  Onyx looks between the two of us, her face pained before she reaches for my arm. “Yeah, but now is not a very good time. I’m suddenly feeling like shit.”

  Ash s
teps up beside Onyx and grabs for her purse. “I can take you home. I have my car outside and-”

  “No,” she cuts in. “You just got here. I’ll be fine.” She turns to face me and her eyes lock with mine. The pain in her expression confuses me. “Let’s go to your house. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

  “Alright.” I take one more look at Stone and Ash before following Onyx through the crowd and outside. As soon as Onyx gets outside, she pukes.

  This could be a messy night . . .

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hemy

  After Onyx calmed down and the puking stopped, I took off my shirt and wiped her face off before helping her into my truck. As tough as she thinks she is now, I know she still needs a little taking care of. She deserves it and I want her to know that. I would take care of her for the rest of my damn life if she would just let me.

  Onyx lets out a heavy breath beside me. “I can’t do this, Hemy. I can’t fucking do this. Stop the car.”

  Pulling the truck over, I grip the steering wheel before slamming my fist into it. I can’t stand those words coming from her mouth. I wish she would stop trying to keep me out. “Dammit, Onyx!” I lean back in my seat and rub my hands over my face in frustration. “I’ve been trying to show you that I’m a different person. Can’t you fucking see that? All you want to do is keep me out and push me away.”

  It’s silent for a moment as I stare at the side of her face, taking her in. She looks so pained that it breaks my damn heart. I wish she would just fucking talk and put me out of my misery.

  “Hemy,” she breathes, breaking the silence. “I know you're trying to prove that you've changed and you can give me what I wanted back then, but you don't understand. You broke me . . . shattered me. I'm not the same girl I was, and I don't think I can love you that way again. You need to let me go. I refuse to go through that again.”