This Regret Read online

  “I almost did, but I kind of figured you’d be watching your sister. It’s become pretty routine for you over the last few weeks.” He looks up with desperation in his eyes and grips the bar top. “Please tell me Kade is coming in tonight. We have a baseball team coming in for dinner around six thirty. I can’t have him messing things up”

  My stomach knots up at the thought of Kade. “I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t show up.” I offer a weak smile, trying to keep my nerves together. “Relax, Dale.”

  He snorts and shakes his head in shame. “That boy always has some crap going on. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s been leaving at random times and leaving Jen and Saline to work by themselves. That crap has to stop or he’ll be gone. I don’t care if he’s my son.” He sits down onto a barstool and points a finger at me. “You’re management now. You need to start putting your foot down. We’re going to have to start looking for more staff soon. I’m not joking either. I’m fed up with their games.”

  I hate whenever he goes on his stupid rampages. He used to be such a nice guy, but that changed about eight years ago and now he’s just uptight and angry. I guess many people’s lives changed eight years ago, after . . . that day.

  “Okay, Dale. I’ll have a talk with the staff tomorrow night. I’ll set up a meeting and let them all know they have to show up or else they can hit the road.” I toss my towel at Dale and smile. “Now go home. I can handle it from here.”

  Dale grasps the towel and the veins in his temple throb. It almost looks scary, as if they’re about to pop out of his head. “Are you sure you can handle it?” He stands up and pushes the barstool back in. “If Kade doesn’t show up then you’ll be by yourself and I can’t come back tonight. I have . . . I just have shit to do.”

  I nervously chew on the inside of my lip, while trying to decide if Kade would leave me hanging. He’s usually good about showing up for our shifts and I hadn’t even noticed he was ditching his other ones. “Yeah, he’ll show up. Now go home. You look like hell.”

  Dale looks up as I start wiping down the bar. He looks almost relieved as he nods his head. “That’s what my wife tells me.”

  I look up again and smile at him. “What? That you look like hell?” The thought makes me laugh.

  He chuckles and grabs for his keys. “Nope.” He looks back at me before reaching the door to leave. “Both.”

  “I bet. I would send you to someone else’s home if I had to deal with you daily as well.”

  He laughs and reaches for the handle. “I don’t blame you.”

  I shake my head and laugh as he walks out the door leaving me alone in the silence of the big bar. There’s usually an hour in between the shift change where you are pretty much lucky to see one or two customers. I don’t mind it though because it gives me the necessary time to get things set up the way I like them. From the looks of the messy tables and misplaced product, I have a lot of work to do.

  Seven o’clock rolls around and here I am, by myself, taking care of the whole baseball team along with a few other stragglers that are hanging around the joint.

  My heart’s racing and I begin to sweat as I struggle to keep up with the orders. My arm accidently knocks into one of the seven drinks I’m currently working on, causing me to let out a deep breath to calm myself.

  “It’s okay. You can handle this.” I have to remind myself. “Just breathe.”

  “You look hot when you’re all wet and sweaty.”

  I look up to see Kade standing on the other side of the bar. His messy curls hang loosely, brushing against the top of his baby blue eyes that are looking at me with amusement. It might be cute to most girls, but right now, I just want to smack him.

  He gives me a carefree smile before letting himself behind the bar and reaching for the drink ticket to help me catch up. “Sorry I’m late.”

  I look away from pouring one of the cocktails and give Kade a forced tight-lipped grin. Unfortunately, he finds it to be cute, so he just smiles. Jerk.

  I wipe an arm over my sweaty forehead, being careful not to drip over any of the glasses. “Don’t smile at me.” I grab for another glass and start on the next one. “You were supposed to be here at six. Did you forget? I’ve been working my ass off here.”

  He leans over the bar and smiles at the two cougars that have just now appeared in front of us. “I’ll be right with you, ladies.” He winks at them and they both smile in satisfaction, swooning over his usual charm.

  The women whisper to each other, before the taller brown-haired woman responds. “Take your time. We’re not going anywhere, honey.”

  Kade turns his attention back to me and helps me carry the drinks over to the table of drunken men that have been shouting at each other about their game for over the last forty-five minutes. Apparently, they lost the game, it was Andy’s fault for twisting his ankle, and Andy doesn’t seem to think his fall caused the other team to get a home run. I’m not sure that I agree.

  “Are you shitting me? Did you see how fast I got back up?” Andy argues. “Let’s see your fat ass get back up that fast. You can barely walk on your feet even without having a twisted ankle.” He yanks the bigger guy’s hat off.

  “Oh, fuck you, Andy.” He snatches his hat back and the others jump in to settle the argument.

  Ignoring their banter, I head back to the bar with Kade following closely at my heels. As soon as we get far enough away, I hear him talking behind me.

  “I was helping my friend Jack work on his car.” He leans in closer so I can hear him better. “He’s a shitty mechanic. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

  He pushes open the door behind the bar for the both of us, and the women waiting at the bar instantly fight for his attention.

  “I’ll take sex on the beach,” one of the women requests. “Actually, make that for the both of us,” she says, pointing to her friend with a look on her face that makes even me embarrassed by her desperation.

  Kade looks me in the eye with a look that makes my heart jump out of my chest and my mouth suddenly go dry. Then he turns his attention away to help the eager women.

  I watch him as I wipe down the bar and I can’t seem to pull my eyes away. His faded jeans are hanging perfectly on his slim waist and his black V-neck shirt is form fitting enough to show off his sculpted chest and arms. No wonder women all go crazy over him. I always tell myself I won’t be one of those girls and now look at me, I’m practically drooling over him. It’s ridiculous. He’s only . . . Kade.

  I turn my attention away from him so I can focus on making a list of liquor that needs to be refilled.

  I look up from the paper, peeking, as a figure sits down in the barstool in front of me.

  Before he even speaks, his heavy breathing gives him away.

  “There’s my favorite bartender in all of Alba, Texas.”

  I bring my eyes back down to the list I have just started and shake my head. Martin has been a regular for the last two years and it’s almost impossible to keep him away for a day. “When you say favorite bartender, you do mean the only one left that will serve you, right?”

  Martin laughs and slams his wallet down next to him. Everything inside of it is bulging out and looks as if it’s about to fall apart. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s full of all of his bar receipts that he’s accumulated over the years. Some paid and well some . . . I’m still waiting on. That son of a . . .

  “You’ve got a point.” He pauses to nod at Kade while digging in his wallet to pull out a five-dollar bill. “That’s not the reason why, though.” He slams it down next to him on the bar. “You’re pretty and you have a smart ass mouth. What’s not to love?”

  My lips twist up into a smile as Martin leans over the bar either trying to get a look at the list I’m making, or just trying to see my breasts. Either way, I should smack that wrinkly grin off his face.

  I cover the paper with my hand and then shove it into my pocket. “You’re such a distraction. Doesn’t your wife
ever wonder where you are?” I turn around to grab him a bottle of beer before twisting the top off and setting it down in front of him. “Plus, aren’t you too old to be here every day? All of this drinking is going to make you croak on me.” I slap his fluffy chest and smirk. “Then what would I do?”

  He pulls his hat off his balding head and places it over his knee. “You’re shitting me, right? That old broad can hardly remember her own name. What makes you think she can remember me?” He sips on his beer and slaps his round belly. “I won’t be croaking anytime soon and I won’t be stopping until this baby has had enough.”

  “Ah ha. I see.” I turn to walk away so I can get back to concentrating on making my list. “Now I see why no one else will serve you.” I flash him a hard look and point at him. “You’re what people call an old, angry fart.”

  He tilts his beer back and smiles as he presses it against his lips, the bottle almost getting lost in his crazy beard. “Just get back to work,” he growls.

  I lean against the bar, wave my arm at Martin and study what I have of the short list so far. Two . . .

  I jump when I feel Kade’s hand wrap around my waist and pull me against the firmness of his body.

  “You didn’t think I forgot about our kiss, did you?” He presses his face into my neck before running the fullness of his lips under my chin, his warm breath giving me chills. “I would like to do a lot more to you than that.” His husky voice is full of want, making it hard to concentrate.

  I lean my neck back and moan getting lost in the moment. Then realization of the situation sets in, causing me to jerk my neck away. I open my eyes to see Martin watching us and I have to fight myself to shake off the pleasure that Kade’s touch is bringing.

  Before I can let myself further enjoy the feel of his touch, I wriggle my way out of his grip and turn around to face him. I need to be tougher and keep my head on straight. “We have a lot of work to do, Kade.”

  My eyes focus on the hardness in his jeans before his hand pushes down on it and he runs his tongue over his lips. “You like to torture me. You have been doing it for years.” He smiles and reaches for a towel. “Okay. Let’s get to work then. We’ll play some more later.” He winks.

  I swallow hard as I watch him take control of the bar. Then, I lean in and speak next to his ear to be sure he can hear me over the soft music. “I would take it easy if I were you, buddy. No one said we were doing anything later.”

  He smiles as if he thinks I’m only joking. “My place or yours?” He pushes a beer across the bar top and some guy reaches out to catch it. “I’m not letting you get away so easily.”

  I have a feeling that you won’t. I’m guessing that’s not a good thing either.

  Chapter Two

  Kellan

  The tattoo gun buzzes beneath my fingertips, giving me a sensation unlike anything else can bring. I run the tip of the gun along the smooth lines of the angel I drew up just less than an hour ago; its wings wrapping around my forearm and the angel in a crouching position, weeping. One arm rests on her forehead, while the other one rests on the ground beside her. The ground that is threatening to fall from beneath her and crumble her world to pieces. A feeling that has haunted me for years.

  At the moment, I just need a distraction and the feel of the needle in my hand always takes my mind away from things, but the feel of the needle digging in my flesh, is even better, making me feel more alive, giving me the breath, I cannot seem to catch.

  I can feel Tyler’s presence even before he opens his mouth to speak. Not to mention the fact he’s chewing with his mouth open, leaving trails of crumbs forming on the ground by my foot breaking my concentration. Nothing new there.

  “What’s up, man?” He watches me intently while pulling his beanie off and shaking his hands through his shoulder length hair. “Having another bad day?”

  I hold the tattoo gun out in front of me and nod my head, showing him, that once again, he is right. He’s figured me out pretty well in the last six months and I only have myself to blame for that. “I guess you can say that.”

  He takes a seat in his worn out leather chair, spins it around a few times and then twirls back around to face me. “You’re going to run out of room someday, then what?” He shoves the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and quickly chews before speaking again. “You need to find another distraction, my man.”

  I shrug my shoulders before tilting my head up so I can see him. “I have other distractions.”

  He runs his arm over his mouth and leans forward in his chair, his arms out in front of him. “Oh yeah? Like what?” he challenges.

  I set the tattoo gun down on the tray beside me, and pull off my rubber gloves, before looking over at him. “Just stuff . . .” I flip my arms over, looking for an empty spot in between the various tattoos that cover both of my arms. I point at the tiny space right by my left armpit. “I guess I’ll have a little bit of time to figure out what else.”

  He’s silent for a moment as his eyes study me, looking as if he’s got something more to say.

  “What was that call about earlier?” he finally asks.

  The thought of it causes my blood to boil and I have to fight the urge to throw something across the shop. “It was nothing important,” I say, my voice as steady as I can keep it. “It was just . . . someone from my past.”

  I look up, my jaw clenched, before pushing the drawer to my desk closed and looking up to face Tyler, neither one of us speaking. I have nothing more to say about it.

  The neon Open sign on the door flickers, catching both of our attention for a moment, before finally staying lit.

  “Where did you buy that shitty sign from again?” I question trying to change the subject. “That thing’s been pissing me off. I’m about ten seconds away from breaking it.”

  Tyler looks my way and nods his head, before walking over to take a seat in the stool in front of me. “From that crappy little pawnshop down the street.” He twirls his keys around his finger, the familiar sound working me back up, causing my heart to pound heavily in my chest. “So you’ve told everyone that you’re back, then?”

  I look away and run my hand through my hair, pushing the old thought from my mind. I really don’t care to discuss the subject and I wish I could forget about it all together. “Nah. It’s been a long time.” I pause to swallow, trying to keep my cool. “Trust me, no one is looking for me. If I see them, I see them.”

  Tyler twirls the keys around his finger once more before he tosses the set of keys to me. I reach out to catch them. “Maybe this will help keep your mind off things.”

  I hold the keys out in front of me, eyebrows raised as I stare at him. “The keys to your Chopper?” I question examining them. “I have my own bike, man.” I toss them back and he catches them. “Thanks for the effort, but I’m cool.”

  “No.” He shakes his head and brings his eyes up to meet mine, the look on his face telling me he’s about to ask for my help again. “I need your help. You’re the best I know when it comes to motorcycles. She’s been making strange noises lately. Can you check her out, man?”

  The keys come flying back at me and I reach out to snatch them right as they’re about to smack me in the face. He is right, though. Even I have to admit it. I do need a way to keep my mind off shit. “Sure man, I don’t have shit going on tonight. Where is it?”

  “I already have her parked in your garage, man.”

  My lips turn up into a small smile as I shove the keys into my pocket. That smart dick. “What made you think I would even do it?”

  Tyler stands and walks over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. He points to his chest with his free hand, “Because it’s me, man. The coolest motherfucker you know.”

  I look at him from the corner of my eye and reach for a bandage. “You still owe me. When I need something big, you better fucking come running.”

  “You know it.” He pops his knuckles. “That’s pretty sick, man.” Tyler’s eyes widen as he leans in
and checks out my half-finished angel. “She looks kind of broken though. That’s some sad shit.”

  A tight smile forms on my lips as I examine it myself. It practically covers my whole forearm, connecting itself to the smoke that trails around my arm just above her wings. “Just as I intended her to be. She’s not quite finished though.”

  “It’s going to be sick as shit when you do.” Tyler walks back over to his desk and pulls open the drawer before tossing handfuls of ink into a box. “I’ll be at my place doing a few tattoos if you want to come through later.”

  “Yeah. We’ll see.” I walk around the small tattoo shop and start flipping off the signs. “I have a few things to take care of first.”

  “Sure, man.” He walks over and bumps his fist against mine before heading for the door. “Be careful with my baby.”

  I nod my head before he walks outside, leaving me alone to finish closing. Not that it takes much work. I grab for my leather jacket, flip off the last light and lock the door behind me.

  The night air is refreshingly cool as I walk around the brick building to the back parking lot. It’s probably not cool enough for my jacket, but when riding, it only seems natural.

  As I approach my Harley, my lips twist into a wicked smile and I straddle her. Running my hands up the handles, I shift to the right, the hard gravel crunching under my boots as I steady myself. If anything else can come close to the feeling the tattoo gun brings me, it’s riding hard and fast.

  My moment is rudely interrupted by shouts coming from the parking lot of the bar next door and from the sound of the woman’s voice, I can tell she has been crying. That is all it takes to get my full attention.

  “Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking touch me,” she screams.

  I get off my bike just in time to see the man grab the woman’s face and slam her into the side of the brick wall. “Shut the fuck up, Maxine.” He leans in so his face is right in front of hers. “People can hear you. Don’t be such a bitch.”

  As much as I know I shouldn’t get involved with some bullshit like this again, there is something inside of me that can’t help but to rescue the damn damsel in distress.